HB COLD

I almost burst out laughing today in class. It was a Project Management lecture and the teacher (no names) was going on and on about the reporting process. It was so bloody dull that I began to remember one of the many ways in which my father pretended to kill himself in order to put himself out of his misery and escape the brutal boredom.

First I spread my fingers out wide. Then one-by-one I closed them, first the pinky, then the ring finger, next the middle finger so that I was left with my hand in the shape of a gun. Then I put my index finger underneath my chin and pulled the trigger. But the horrible boredom persisted. So then I tied the imaginary rope into a noose, slipped it over my head and around my neck and pulled. But still, the lecture continued. Slash my wrists? Of course I did, but to no avail. Finally, I pulled out the imaginary pill container from out of my pocket, emptied it out onto my hand and swallowed them all. At last, it was time for a break. Man it was so damn boring today. And now I should be working on my project plan assignment, but even thinking of it is making me bored.

By the way, a Happy, happy birthday to my sister Tricia, who wins the award for sending me the nastiest link in a long time.