HB COLD

Okay, this is going to sound a whole lot worse than it is, but I'll say it anyway because it sounds better this way...I think I shared a moment with a woman on a train. Karoliina and I were taking the train back from Turku yesterday. K was asleep and listening to her music. I had my back to her and was trying to stretch my feet out into the aisle. And about halfway through the trip, the train must have run over some wood or rocks or something, because whatever it was rumbling underneath us as we went over it. A loud rumbling is not a pleasant noise to hear on any type of transportation device. When I heard it I looked up and directly into the eyes of the woman who was sitting on the other side of the aisle. We both had that deer in the headlights,"What the...?" look on our faces and we held the stare until just after the sound went away and then looked away without saying a word or a smile or whatever. But for 3 seconds...Very weird.

I don't know about you, but I happen to think that I am a pretty good tooth brusher. Everyday, twice a day, and thorough. Maybe I'm a lazy flosser, but who isn't? But today, after my first cleaning in too long, I realized that I'm not as good a brusher as I thought I was. It was hell. I remember the last time I went to the dentist and that was hell too. I wonder if it has something to do with Finnish dentists - whose skill level is elite, but whose compassion and demeanor leaves a little left on the table.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my Finnish isn't up to "going to the dentist" level and the fact that the dentist's English wasn't up to the speaking English level that I prefer, so as I looked into the vacuum tube that is almost gagging me because it is so far down my throat, as I looked and saw a whole lotta red, I was thinking that this is one of the most miserable experiences I've had in quite some time (well, since the last time I went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago) and the worst part is I have to go back to the f--king place in a couple of weeks for the redo on my cavity.

And logic tells me that, if I were to go to the dentist more frequently, the visits wouldn't be nearly as bad. They would be more like a visit to Dr. Hamby when I was young. Although I do remember one time Tricia made a lot of fun of me because the nurse had said something like Ewww when she was cleaning my teeth. However, truthfully, I always thought that the nurse said something else and one of my older sisters was just giving me a hard time as they were want to do. But Dr. Hamby had cartoons, and toys and laughing gas. All the tricks necessary to make someone forget how completely miserable a trip to the dentist really is.

Okay, I had to get that off my chest. Onto other things. At this very moment, Karoliina is bowling with some celebrities. Two of the most popular gay men in Finland. One came out of the closet just this year and the other is still in, but the closet is made of glass kind of thing. Well, my point is that, Karoliina is a really bad bowler. But she's so bad, that she's fun to play with because she doesn't want to be bad, but there's not really anything that she can do to fix it. Everyone should bowl with my wife at least once, you won't regret it. But! That's the point here! She's so bad, that she's sure to make friends. And gay friends. We haven't had gay friends since we left New York. We miss gay friends. They're fun. In New York we may have had more gay friends than straight and we had a good amount of straight friends.

Other topics of note. I was invited to the Rokumentti Film Festival, www.rokumentti.com, in Joensuu in November. It's the second year of the festival and it's gained some notoriety. This year there will be a couple of American filmmakers at the festival. They have a movie, American Hardcore - about the heavy metal scene between 1980-86. The organizers invited me to help host them and to mediate a discussion or two. I'm pretty excited about it. It's always fun to go back to J-town, and even more fun when the reason is for a Rock n' Roll Film Festival. And even more fun when someone else is paying my travel and putting me up in a hotel, and maybe a wage.

Other than that I can officially say that the winter is at the doorstep. It hasn't come in yet, but most of the leaves are already on the ground. The sun hasn't come out in weeks, and when it does it's only to peek around the corner. And it's getting dark pretty early. 6:30 was darkness falls on Helsinki. November looms ominously. I hate November almost as much as I hate going to the dentist.

What is it about a sale that freaks people out so much? Well, I know what it is, but today I learned something useful. Unless the thing you want is on sale, it ain't a sale, it's a herd of cattle. But what happens to people - or me - in a herd? I freak out. I feel an overwhelming need to get past people, to get what I want before them, even though I know that what I want isn't on sale. "But something else could be," I think to myself, and so I press on looking for something, anything that I thought I could have wanted, but never got. So many people buying and buying, I have to buy something, right? Well maybe. But not then, not this morning.

Onto other things. Last night the light was restored to our house and I couldn't be happier. For one, I am happy to have light again. Two, I am happy that, in order to fix it, the professional had to get some special stuff. In other words, I didn't fail as a handyman and that's always a good thing. It would have been embarrassing to have had this dude in my house for 10 seconds, look at the situation and do something ridiculously obvious, then smile at me and leave. Oh that would have pissed me off, which is why I am happy that it didn't happen. No use getting all worked up over nothing. Except handimanness here in Finland is something that the Finns, especially the older ones, have in droves...Like more in their little finger kind of thing.

Crazy days are here again. No, for real, they start tomorrow. K and I are waking up early tomorrow to celebrate. Gotta get there before all the other crazies writing about Crazy Days to anyone who'll read about it, because they're thinking the same damn thing as I am...Crazy bastards. They're probably thinking something along the lines of getting a digibox - TiVo, except different - for less than my thumbs, and maybe a new rug, or a new duvet! and a cactus, cause I think I drowned the last one.

And you know what's coming with those crazy days? The cold, that's what. I turned the batteries on today. It didn't get above fifty today. I thought about long underwear today.

Three years folks! Three years today and for the life of me I can't tell if it feels like a long time or a short one. Why it seems like only yesterday I was riding through the forest trails on my bike, just in time to catch the fish festival beauty pageant. - Long pause in writing and a lot of deletion later - I realize that my reflecting mirrors are not working all that well, and so now onto other subjects.

Procrastination, it afflicts me. And I think has also cut me on the fingers numerous times. I have no idea why I waited, but I did. Looking for the right one. Finding many, but never sure and so what did I do? I procrastinated and used the same crappy knife for almost 7 years without ever replacing it. And now that it is replaced? Holy cow was it dull! I'm telling you I have cut my fingernail twice since buying the new one because it's so sharp and I'm not used to it yet. Unbelievable. I mean you should see the thing cut a tomato! It just goes right through it. I am an idiot. It's not like the thing was expensive, even if it was lousy, at least it would be sharp and at 20 bucks it won't break the bank or anything. Finally, though. And lessoned learned. And I've cooked almost everyday for the last 3 years. It's hard when your own stupidity slaps you in the face. It can cut you on the finger without you - or me really - realizing it, but once it slaps you - me - in the face, you know it.

Okay I'm through hb bashing. What else? I got to see some of the footage from this summer's shooting and it looked great. Very rough stuff, but beautiful. I can't wait to get back into it. I am going to contact a couple of the actors for a monthly language lesson until we resume again in February. Again, the ugly P word crawls back into the conversation. I've been putting off calling them. However this time I have a better excuse, I don't want the hangover that is sure to come with the lesson. These Finnish actors are crazy.

I am just about to have - most likely, a wholly unappetizing - lunch with Karoliina. It will be the second lunch we have had together since she began her job and the first lunch together since I began mine, yesterday. We are fortunate to be located within 5 minutes walking distance, but unfortunate enough to have only truly pathetic dining options. Think school cafeteria, except expensive.

Yesterday I started a research project - Film Finland - in which I will study the ways and means of neighboring film commissions and develop a suitable model for Finland. I will be working part-time (20hrs/week) and be in school and in Finnish class at the same time. I have no idea how I will manage, but I have the sneaking suspicion that Finnish lessons will lag a bit. One of the added bonuses about this study is that it relates to the topic I have chosen for my thesis. Another added bonus is that I will receive school credit for this work. And the last added bonus is that because I will be working, the wife and I can afford to get our butts to Dallas at the end of the year for a little summer vacation in the winter time.

Gotta go and eat some nasty food. I will report back later.

I'm back and, indeed, the food was nasty. Spinach filled crepes, salad and a slice of bread for what amounts to 10 dollars. Unreal. Lunch with the wife is one thing. Bad, expensive lunch with the wife is totally different.

Other news of note: the fall is in full swing here. Today the sun shone through the clouds for a few minutes on the way to work and that was the first few minutes of sunshine I have seen in at least a week.

Also, the other night the light in our living room went out and when I tried to replace the bulb, it didn't work again. I checked all the wires and connections - but removed the fuse first, so don't worry - and they were all okay. So now we have to call an electrician and live in darkness for a while. Not that living in darkness is so unique; after all, most of Finland lives in darkness for the better part of 4 months, but not in the home. In the summertime this would not have been an issue, but like I said, it ain't summer no more.

That's about it, gotta get back to work.