HB COLD

The day that people started getting out of my way on the streets of New York was a good one. I felt proud that I had assimilated well. It meant something special, in an idiotic sort of way. But still, in whatever way it was I had got some respect out there.

This place is a little different. The way you walk on the street doesn't mean a thing. People will still walk right into you rather than getting out of the way, or stop right in front of you on the street, or better yet, stop at the top or bottom of an escalator.

Old ladies are the worst, and since I'm kind of jobless at the moment I am out and about when all the old ladies are out, and it's hard to get mad at an old lady, except for the fact that there are just so many of them. Small, slow, but totally off limits when it comes to yelling or even frustration. It's quite funny actually. I mean there are just to many of them, and in the grocery stores! The place is absolutely littered with pushcarts and old ladies - who, by the way, are almost invariably decked out in fur. Just looking out over the tops of them in the produce section is something to behold. The cheese counter is completely inaccessible.

But what happens when regular looking guy turns into Jake the Snake looking guy? What happens when people look at you and then look away and then look right back? What happens? They get the hell out of the way. That's what happens. On the street, in the store, people see me and then move just enough out of my way so as to not bother me. It's wonderful.

Although I admit it's a bit distracting for others that know me. I ran into an old classmate on the street last night and she couldn't look at me without cracking up and telling me how different I looked. And later on the same walk I ran into another classmate and her boyfriend who couldn't agree if it was me or not. It was.

This brings me to a funny thing. Whenever I walk around the town at night I have my headphones in and the music on. And last night it was dark and misty. So that right there has taken away one of my senses and dulled the other. And since the sense of smell and taste don't really come into the mix on one of my walks, I'm pretty much in my own world. Which is why when Niina and Pancho stopped their pole walking and started shouting at me as I walked out onto the bridge that goes to a nearby island, I didn't recognize them at first. My initial reaction was that there was someone behind me. When I looked around and saw no one I thought that these crazy people must be warning me not to go out onto the bridge. But then I looked at the bridge, the bridge that I just saw them walk out from and thought that they must be mad. But still they yelled again and so finally I took off my headphones and got close enough to realize that they were just my friends saying hi. By the way, all that took place in the span of five seconds, it just drags out a little when writing.

This brings me to the next topic. The island that I was walking out onto, Uunisaari. It is almost always empty, but I have never walked around the whole thing at night - it's tiny - because I always wind up creeping myself out. Well, the dark sky and frozen sea and total emptiness creeps me out, but my imagination helps. And so I walk out, closer and closer to the far beach - really like 40 yards, not far - but each time it creeps the hell out of me. It also doesn't help that I am always listening to creepy music, trying to get myself in the mood for writing the screenplay and its creepiness. But the cold, frozen sea at night, alone, far enough away from the city, it gets me every time,

Could this, at long last, be the first March that doesn't suck? A sudden and sustained burst of warm weather has melted almost all of the ice and slush on the street and the temperature looks like it's here to stay. The days are getting brighter and brighter and March is almost 1/3 of the way over.

That's it, I've just ruined March. Tonight it will freeze and ice over and then it will melt, and it will continue to do so until April. I'm sure of it. Why did I have to open my big mouth? You can all blame me. But wait! I didn't open my mouth, I just typed it. I know that the last time I used this logic - the don't write it cause you'll jinx it logic, but say it all you want - but now I'm reversing it. Am I allowed to do this?

Another new item on the plate for 2007. I just shaved a handle bar moustache beard. I am totally straight out of a 70's porn flick or a 2007 NASCAR competition. And the weird thing is, I like it. Also, I shaved it last night, only roughly so that Karoliina could shape it better in the morning. As soon as I did it I thought I confined myself to the house, so as not to be seen with an absolutely crazy beard. So what happens? I get an invitation to go to a birthday party for a cultural center where it would be a bit of a scene. I, of course, would only add to the scene with my Holmesian appearance. And what do you know, people were coming up to me complementing me on the beard. Utterly crazy. When K comes home I'll take a picture and post it for the world to see.

More firsts for the year 2007. This weekend I saw a live television performance and I regretted going as soon as we got there. But it was when they turned the floodlights on and right on top of us that I really started hating it. Now it's a harmless show, and it wasn't without some laughs - although mostly from Mikko making fun of the way one of the contestants' voice. But holy crap was it hot! Normally in those types of situations they keep the studio cold so that when the lights go on it ain't all that bad. But not this one. And since it's March and still pretty cold out I was still wearing the long underwear and was also wearing a thermal undershirt. In other words, I was sweating my ass off and the time couldn't go by fast enough.

After this I went to a Purim party and got a little goofy with a Rabbi - another first. There was a limbo contest, but I wisely chose to decline participation. Limbo is no game for a 30 something tall man to get into when there are also some 20 something small people playing. They start a whole lot lower than me. They're short. They always win. I'll bet they invented the damn game.