HB COLD

Preparations are underway for Vappu, or May Day and for some I think that the space between May and Day disappears and Vappu simply becomes a mayday situation. And now, after this horribly long winter - the longest one in the past 25 years, and at least 3 weeks longer than last year - I see why this is one of the biggest parties of the year. It's damn necessary.

In the past two days all sorts of terraces and patios have sprung up and for the first time in many months I could smell Spring. It was a brief scent that hit me as I walked by what looked to be dead trees. I stopped and went in for a closer look and that's when I saw the little tiny flowers that will bloom gloriously for about 3 months and then go away for another 9. You see! That's what Finland can do to you, the flowers haven't even bloomed and already I am thinking about when they will go away. I think that the trip to Texas - one month and counting - is coming at the exact right moment. Well, now that I think about it, any time is the right time for a trip to Texas. Except maybe July and August.

Everything's relative I guess. At least everything except learning the Finnish language, that's a pain in the ass wherever and whenever you are. But my example this time is the weather, specifically Finnish weather. Spring has finally arrived. The sun is coming out daily and staying out till close to 9pm. It's definitley warmer out even though there are still blocks of ice out on the sea and the lakes. It warm enough that I am actually thinking of wearing shorts and short-sleeves and getting out on my bicycle and soaking up the warm sun. How warm, you ask? It's been in the 40's lately, high 40's even.

A few things to tell and I'll start with the most embarrassing one first. I don't know how, but somehow I hurt my foot. Nothing too terrible, I can walk and run just fine, but something on the ball of my foot has been bothering me lately. I took a couple of Burana, which is the Finnish version of Tylenol or Advil or what have you. And then the Burana ran out and the pain came back at night and so I took one of Karoliina's pain killers. A good night sleep later and I was off to class the next day. The pain was still lingering and so I took another one before the day began. An hour into class I started to feel funny. I was sweating, much more than usual. I was pale and I was getting nauseous.

We had our lunch break and our cafeteria food usually makes me sick anyway, but this time it was the straw that broke my back. I had to leave and so I did. I got on the bus back to town, the ride is like 25 minutes. I tried to keep my eyes focused because it was all getting worse. I was really sweating now and at each stop I was debating whether or not I should just get off the bus in order to avoid throwing up on the bus. Because it was happening, there was no doubt about it. But the question was, could I make it. At the second to last stop I knew it was only a matter of seconds before all hell was going to break loose from my belly. But I decided to press my luck - no whammies. We made it about 10 meters away from the stop when the bus slowed to let some passengers walk by. I was up and at the exit door and when we slowed I said a very bad word out loud. I had bet wrong. I could feel it coming. Finally the doors opened and I rushed out with a mouth full of vomit. I ran away and ducked behind some construction. It was funny because as I was running away and puking everywhere I had the thought, "Good thing that this construction is here." It gave me a little privacy. But that was the last privacy I would have.

I recovered and walked fast towards home. I was breathing deeply and trying to calm my stomach. As I headed near the shopping center I noticed a group of women on the other side of the street. This is only important because when they looked over at me I was looking at them and as soon as we made eye contact I had the most projectile of vomits that I can remember having since college. I never bothered to look back and ran the rest of the way home.

I got home and was totally wasted. I went to bed for 3 hours and woke up still wasted. And the worst part about it all was that throughout the ordeal, my foot hurt the whole time.

Ok there's more to tell, like my trip to J-town and the Passover Seder, but it's late and recalling that story took a lot out of me. Good night.

I made the worst meal of my life last night. This is not including the meals I made pre-learning how to cook. This was a bonafide screw the pooch attempt at Indian food. For some reason neither K nor I have been able to hit a home run when cooking Indian. To be honest, I don't really know if we've ever gotten on base. (All references to baseball are intentional and painful - Have I mentioned what Finnish baseball is like? Well let's just say they weren't involved in the World Baseball Classic. However, if there were ever a world wide competition of the screwiest version of baseball, played nowhere else but in the country of origin, well then Finland would be tops, specifically the city of Oulu.)

But I digress, I was writing about this god awful dish I tried my hand at. Oh, and I was using baseball references. So anyway, it didn't start out bad, as a matter of fact, things were looking quite good for some time. I was ahead in the count for sure. The sauce was coming together so well, but when I added the beef it all started to go wrong. And then I added two cups of water and drowned everything. I added the water because I was supposed to use Indian yellow split peas, but guess what's hard to find here in Finland, nice guess.

So I substituted potatoes, as per the directions, but not as per the directions, as in not in the directions was the added adjustment for cooking potatoes and not peas. My 3 balls and no strikes count turned full and then, with the bases loaded and 1 out, I hit a ground ball to short and they turned the easy double and my dish just sat there for hours, mocking me. I waited and waited for the potatoes to soak up all that water. Sure I went out and got some real Indian food, but that dish sat there the whole time laughing. Then I threw it out, into one of the largest zip-loc bags ever created, but funnily enough not even the largest zip-loc bag in my house.

Today I made turkey burgers filled with garlic, white onioin and granny smith apples, served with spicy sauteed mushrooms and a nice salad. Yesterday I served up a big, fat, zip-loc bag full of crap.

Last night - a Saturday - at about 1:30am, as K and I were returning from Antero and Jenni's place, we came upon a city center that felt just like a zombie movie. It was all so chaotic, masses of people stumbling around here and there, but never in a straight line. People peeing wherever they felt like peeing. Anyone walking alone was running. I guess since we weren't drunk we could see it how it really is, but how one never sees it because who the hell is out in the center of Helsinki at 2am on a Saturday night if they are not drinking? No one, that's who. Well, us yesterday, is who too.

From the train station to our flat is probably the busiest area of Helsinki, like Times Square, except without the lights, the Disney and the wide selection of late night eateries. Helsinki late night fare is hotdogs, kebob and then a sausage and potato dish of sorts. On a side note, a Taco Bell would make a killing here.

I'm going for a visit to J-town at the end of this week. I'm quite excited about it and I am now quite relieved that there is a film showcase happening on Friday, because outside of visiting my old workplace there wasn't gonna be a thing to do in J-town, at least not without my bike. Gotta mention something, as I wrote the word happening I almost wrote this "there is a happening on Friday" instead of what I did write, "there is a film showcase happening" and had I wrote the former and not the latter I would have been guilty of Finglish - or the way Finns speak English - and using the word "happening" to describe an event is so commonplace that I have almost forgotten how to say it otherwise.

So anyway, going to Joensuu this weekend for a meeting with Markku about the movie, a Kataja playoff basketball game (who says March Madness only happens in the US? Huh? It's happening right here baby! Much sarcasm intended) and then a game of Texas Hold'Em Poker with the J-town billiard club in their secret billiard room in the middle of the city in the parking garage. Also in the secret chamber is an antique pool table that holds the largest billiard balls I have ever seen in my life.

Ha! I was about to discuss the weather and then I realized that we are out of March and today the sidewalks were ice free and what a bloody difference a day makes. Although now the weather is in that annoyingly in between stage where it is too warm to wear my heavier coat, but too cold to wear my lighter coats and so I wear the heavy one and sweat and then freeze and then, inevitably catch the cold that I have right now.

Another something to tell, I saw my very first lettuce commercial the other day. A commercial solely devoted to different types of lettuce - the types they grow and sell in Finland, of course. It was a medicine cabinet with a green cross on it and inside it were those lettuces.

And that's about that.